Lecta

I wanted to feel pretty today. I spend all day around women who feel pretty, women who are happy, women who are surrounded by love.  (I work in a Bridal Store.)  I am not that.  I feel ugly, and I feel completely friendless, devoid of people to talk to.  And I mean, talk about the real stuff, not just idle chit-chat.   Instead of letting it boil, I come here where no one reads my thoughts just to get them out of me. ...Leaving me feeling emptier than when I began. Cue the wistful smile.

THE BACKSTORY: There's this little thing called Humans vs. Zombies, and in my chapter they were thinking about trying something new with the game.  I honestly think it's a stupid idea, and it'll be a train wreck.  Worse than that, this summer was going to be my last playing HvZ with this group because I'm moving in August.  Now, this chapter of HvZ has a Facebook group, and I posted on the wall that I wasn't really looking forward to being a guinea pig for my last HvZ game.  My post got deleted by a moderator.  I tried to re-post with different phrasing, suggesting that we try out the new stuff before summer when there are more people.  I rea

Why is is slightly more satisfying to have things out in the world as opposed to internalized?  Like writing this journal where people can see it, though I know it won't be read.  Or like talking out loud to myself even though no one is in the house.  Maybe it's the possibility of being heard that makes it better than the unspoken. So here I am again.  Same position as the last journal I wrote.  I had this crazy, wonderful, exciting idea that me and one of the people I know from online gaming would go travel abroad for a year.  I called my boyfriend it see how he would feel about it.  I wish that he could come with us, but seeing as he runs